If All Else Fails, Marry For Money

We've all heard it. One way or another, someone has giving us that 'if all else fails' advice: "Marry for money!"

An interesting theory was brought to my attention one dreary, dark Vancouver afternoon. I found myself listening to a story about a man in his mid fifties that had just had a hot, steamy night with a Spanish beauty about half his age. As the story went on, I learned he was a private investor working out of Vancouver (so, loaded), a divorcee, and had a string of twenty something women tied up in his little black book. I was not surprised by this tale, but still disgusted.

Not saying either party is perfect, but why are there so many women out there that are willing to love and care for one person their whole life, and so many men that aren't?

One undeniable quality about this particular man was his overflowing savings account. Which meant what? Unlimited wealth. Unlimited spending money. Unlimited, unlimited, unlimited.

It is easy to assume that a man with unlimited amounts of money knows no limits when it comes to spending. Especially if he was born into money, he knows no constraint. He's had everything he's ever wanted, where and when he wanted it. But what about the other aspects of his life? Is it possible this way of thinking has leaked into other areas beyond the check book?

Think about how many men you know that are in their fifties, divorced, married to their work, and spend each weekend with a different woman young enough to be their daughter. Sadly, I can think of quite a few. But where were these men twenty five years ago? Were they living the same way they are now? Or had the settled down, only to find that they couldn't handle being restrained to just one woman for the rest of their life?

A wise man once told me, if you're still living like your twenty when you're fifty, you've done something wrong. This is a classic example of the male species never growing up. And why should they? They've had everything they've ever wanted their whole lives at their fingertips. Is that all supposed to change when they hit thirty and are expected to tie the knot? Highly unlikely.

All I can say is, be wary when you set out to marry a man for money. When it comes to family money, it's quite possible the man knows no boundaries. A man that can buy anything he wants may easily confuse that with a concept of having whatever he wants. A popular and misguided misconception.

Constraint is good. Restraint is good. They both play an important role the moral laws of life. Advice from a wise man I know. Sounds like a keeper.

Love

I am afraid
Afraid to laugh with you
Cry with you
Walk with you
Talk with you
Lay with you
Feel your hands run over my body
Have you hold me so close to your chest I can feel your heart beating on my cheek
Kiss me so deeply I forget where I am
Hear you say that you love me
Make love to me like we were made for each other
Make memories that will last longer than this life time
I am afraid because I am in love with you
So in love with you it hurts
And if I lost you
I don't know how I could live without you.

Dating

Natalie is 26 years old. She is a lawyer at a well established law firm downtown, lives in a two bedroom penthouse, and has her own personal trainer.

Steve is also 26 years old. He is construction worker. He lives in a small bachelor pad, drives a station wagon, and has a pet lab.

Everyone defines their self worth with a person, place, or thing. I am a good person because I work for an oil and gas company, make three figures a year, and own a country home up in Whistler. Or even better, I'm a good person because I'm dating a person that works at an oil and gas company, makes three figures a year, and owns a country home up in Whistler. Not only to we measure our own self worth by our career, possessions, or savings account, we carry it over to everyone we meet. And if they don't pass our standards, they're not worth our time. We think we know a person by knowing what they do, where they live, and what they drive, because that is how we know ourselves. But in truth, we don't know them at all. Even more important, we don't know ourselves.

If we don't know ourselves, how can we know who is good for us? Just because you like the same italian restaurant, both have a cat, and go to the same gym, does not mean you are meant to be together, because these things do not define who you are. They are a mere reflection of your personality, but they are not YOU.

If we stopped defining ourselves by what we do or have, if we stopped defining others with the same and really listened to who they are and what they have to say, we would see them for who they really are. And isn't that what we all want in the end? To have a connection with someone? To know that they think the way you do, feel the way you do, about things that are important to both of you?

What you don't know about Natalie is that she's not just a lawyer with her own two bedroom penthouse and personal trainer. She went to law school because her mother went to law school. She wanted to be a gymnast, and wonders every day what would have happened if she followed her dream.

What you don't know about Steve is that he is an artist. He works as a construction worker to pay for his small bachelor pad and his well loved station wagon. He could have gone to university and become a doctor but instead he followed his dream and in a few years will be offered his own gallery.

Steve will look at Natalie and assume that she is a high powered career type only interested in making a lot of money. He will also feel that he is inadequate compared to her lifestyle and therefor she will never be interested in him.

Natalie will look at Steve and think that he has no motivation or passion in life and only works his mediocure job to spend all his money drinking with the boys.

If they could both get passed their assumptions, Natalie would see that Steve is living out his passion, and it would inspire her to do the same. Steve would see that Natalie doesn't just care about making money, and would encourage her to pursue her dreams.