Dating

Natalie is 26 years old. She is a lawyer at a well established law firm downtown, lives in a two bedroom penthouse, and has her own personal trainer.

Steve is also 26 years old. He is construction worker. He lives in a small bachelor pad, drives a station wagon, and has a pet lab.

Everyone defines their self worth with a person, place, or thing. I am a good person because I work for an oil and gas company, make three figures a year, and own a country home up in Whistler. Or even better, I'm a good person because I'm dating a person that works at an oil and gas company, makes three figures a year, and owns a country home up in Whistler. Not only to we measure our own self worth by our career, possessions, or savings account, we carry it over to everyone we meet. And if they don't pass our standards, they're not worth our time. We think we know a person by knowing what they do, where they live, and what they drive, because that is how we know ourselves. But in truth, we don't know them at all. Even more important, we don't know ourselves.

If we don't know ourselves, how can we know who is good for us? Just because you like the same italian restaurant, both have a cat, and go to the same gym, does not mean you are meant to be together, because these things do not define who you are. They are a mere reflection of your personality, but they are not YOU.

If we stopped defining ourselves by what we do or have, if we stopped defining others with the same and really listened to who they are and what they have to say, we would see them for who they really are. And isn't that what we all want in the end? To have a connection with someone? To know that they think the way you do, feel the way you do, about things that are important to both of you?

What you don't know about Natalie is that she's not just a lawyer with her own two bedroom penthouse and personal trainer. She went to law school because her mother went to law school. She wanted to be a gymnast, and wonders every day what would have happened if she followed her dream.

What you don't know about Steve is that he is an artist. He works as a construction worker to pay for his small bachelor pad and his well loved station wagon. He could have gone to university and become a doctor but instead he followed his dream and in a few years will be offered his own gallery.

Steve will look at Natalie and assume that she is a high powered career type only interested in making a lot of money. He will also feel that he is inadequate compared to her lifestyle and therefor she will never be interested in him.

Natalie will look at Steve and think that he has no motivation or passion in life and only works his mediocure job to spend all his money drinking with the boys.

If they could both get passed their assumptions, Natalie would see that Steve is living out his passion, and it would inspire her to do the same. Steve would see that Natalie doesn't just care about making money, and would encourage her to pursue her dreams.